This is the second installment of I Love President Bush Because. To see the first, click here.

The crack down on illegal immigration is going well, folks. George Bush's signing of the Mexican Boarder Fence Bill last Thursday highlights how we have to keep an eye on foreigners in our country. Putting a fence around boarders is generally the only way to stop them from getting loose, ditching their student visas and dashing from UCLA to the fields of California to pick artichokes.

I have to wonder, however, why President Bush only wants to put fences around Mexican boarders. I personally know a lot of foreigners, staying in the U.S. for one reason or another, who'd love to stay on past the end of their visas. There were these three kids in my college dorm who just loathed the idea of going back to the rotten, infested, oppressive country they came from... I think it was Australia. Maybe Denmark.

My suggestion is that, rather than build fences around the boarders, we could use the... um... what's the word... the proficit to just buy them crates. They're less likely to get out of a crate than they are to escape by jumping a fence. Bush said Thursday, "We have a responsibility to secure our boarders," and I thoroughly agree. The fences (or crates) are for their own protection as much as they are for ours.

 A picket fence, gate curiously ajar.

Bush also stated, "The United States has not been in complete control of its boarders for decades." This is indeed worrying: A government should have the ultimate control over all the people in its country, especially those who aren't citizens. Especially Mexicans. President Bush estimates that the cost of fencing in all the boarders will be about $1.2 billion. It's just as well we have a conservative government, because without a substantial defiplus to work with, liberal blow-hards would call this type of spending irresponsible.

I'm so proud of our president for ensuring our national security by keeping those nasty Mexicans fenced in. Boarders or not, they're still filthy foreigners in our country and we should make sure they're not out running around. Thank you, Mr. President! Now will you please do something about Japanese tourists?